Today I read an interesting article and one of the lines that stood out to me was "Be careful who you invite into your life". And then I thought, I should not have invited my parents into my life...wait, what?! The people who cause problems in our lives are not usually those we invite in. It's the people we are forced to deal with, but did not invite.
The shopkeeper with a bad attitude near our home, the security guard who looks down on people, and the volunteer who doesn't understand what you're there for. This is the first layer. The vendor who sabotages you, the colleague who does nothing, and the boss who complicates things. This is the second layer. The parents who think you are worthless, the relatives who think their children are better than you, and the children who are opposite to your personality. This is the third layer. We want to leave, but we have no choice. We can leave, but morals, ethics, and financial situations do not allow us to. How sad.
Plants can discard unwanted branches and leaves, but we cannot separate ourselves from other people who should not be in our lives.
I have seen elderly people act childish, so I don't think age is necessarily a path to wisdom. However, when you reach a certain age, you finally know how to deal with these situations. I am not yet able to have the mindset I should have, but I'm pretty sure this is the answer to the problem. Why did I come to this realization at this age? It's because I have friends whom I have known for over 20 years. You know that he was almost the same as his child when he was young, and you know that he was almost the same as you when he started working.
You know each other after 20 years, if you meet each other now for the first time, you won't be friends.
Some people have become better, and you want to play with them like when you were young, but you always feel that you are bothering them. Some people have become worse, and you want to see their Facebook page occasionally, but you don't want to receive their calls. Some people have gradually revealed incredible values, and you feel like they've been in a coma at the hospital for years? Why are they so silly and lacking in insight?
Whether you invite them or not, the people around you have changed. After all these years, you have also changed. There is probably no other less sad way to break these strange bonds.
Keeping a distance from them is the first layer. Accepting them is the second layer.
Keeping a distance from yourself and still accepting your own aversion to them, repeating it day after day, is the third layer.