I need a rest.
I've had this thought since mid-October last year, and the pressure keeps accumulating. In April and May this year, the work that was supposed to be completed by the end of March was delayed due to client and personal reasons. Honestly, the personal reasons accounted for 90% of it, so I can't blame the clients.
The last straw that was supposed to break me didn't, and now the project is nearing completion. The client was considerate enough to pay the final payment. It's hard to find clients who don't delay payments, especially when they approached me. I have many benefactors, I'm well aware, but my mindset has been relentlessly pressured since last year, to the point where I can hardly breathe, yet no one understands the pain I'm going through.
In the fourth quarter of last year, my wife and I went to Australia. It was supposed to be a getaway from work for me to rest, but the client didn't care if I needed a break. He can empathize with my hardships, but what he wants is more important, after all, he's the one paying...
So, in June of this year, I took the initiative to reject all potential clients who approached me for collaboration.
This move was a significant breakthrough for me. On one hand, there's the risk of losing job opportunities by rejecting clients, and on the other hand, I noticed the subtle manipulations of some collaborating units. Sometimes, when someone sets a trap for you, it's better to fall for it. otherwise the other party would be embarrassed.
The next step for BoxHill is to shut down. I don't know for how long, but I'll stop until I recover. On the other hand, the continuous 15 months of work wasn't all perfect. There were many aspects that required reflection, adjustment, and improvement, both technically and in terms of business and communication. Even if I take on more work now, as long as the previous issues haven't been addressed, there will always be ticking time bombs.
Lastly, I want to thank all the industry leaders for giving me the opportunity to work. Although work has pushed me to the point of needing a break, it's also thanks to everyone that I've been able to earn until now with the confidence to rest. I'm getting old, and even if you don't care, please spare a moment to see me in person. I've aged to the point where sometimes I don't even recognize myself. I'm no longer the person who could resolve every problem that came my way. If I don't pause now, I genuinely feel that death is not far away. Please allow me to rest for a while.